A mother's experience of Oxford University Hospitals Maternity Services in 2023:
My first days and weeks and months as a mother were undeniably impacted by the traumatic birth and were much difficult than they needed to be, emotionally and physically, as a result of my birth experience. I have experienced flashbacks to the way I was treated and the moment I felt I was going to die. I still feel angry and humiliated by the way I was treated by some staff, especially the midwives who laughed at me during my assessment on the MAU.
I mourn the birth I had hoped and planned for - the physiological process was textbook, with no unexpected complications, and I think I would look back on it as a positive experience if my birth plan had been followed and I had received care and adequate pain relief. I also am aware that in established labour midwives usually listen to the baby’s heart rate with a Sonicaid every 15 minutes.
As I had no midwife for most of the process, I did not receive this monitoring until I was finally transferred to the MLU when fully dilated and about to give birth. My baby is healthy and well, but the thought haunts me - what if he had not been? What if he had gone into distress during the period I was alone on the ward without a midwife?
Here’s a bit of the background on not being believed/being denied pain relief: The staff would not take my own assessment of my progress seriously and said I would only qualify for one to one care and be admitted if I consented to an internal examination, despite my birth plan clearly stating I did not want any examinations.
Though I was crying out in pain and enduring intense contractions on the floor in the corridor, and later a consulting room on the assessment unit, the pair of midwives (who were laughing) only offered paracetamol and told me to go home even though the examination I felt forced into showed I was on the cusp of established labour. When I refused, they sent me to an empty ward on the antenatal floor without a nurse or midwife assigned to look after me.
Less than two hours later I was fully dilated and had endured my entire labour, including transition, without any pain relief or a midwife. Being denied pain relief also meant that my partner had to spend some of that time roaming the halls of the JR attempting to track down medical staff to provide some pain relief - which meant that for some of the labour I was not only without any medical staff, but also without my partner.
I was completely alone for periods, which was highly traumatic given the intensity with which contractions ramped up. The experience of not being believed continued in the days after birth - after experiencing debilitating stomach pains, the MAU triage line told me it was likely just muscle pains and to phone back the next day. It turned out I had an infection, and it was only via 111 and a middle of the night out of hours doctors visit with a newborn baby that I received the care and medical treatment I needed.